Extract from ALYVE Magazine July 1997

Clive Alyve's Centre-Page Guide to
THE SANDCASTLES COMPETITION

The annual Sandcastles Competition takes place on Cleethorpes beach around the beginning of September.

Groups enter teams of unlimited size (as long as they are mixed sex), and have two hours to build whatever they like, using only materials found on the beach - sand, pebbles, shells, driftwood, dead seagulls, turds etc!

The competition is judged by a local celebrity, such as the Mayor.

Here are some suggestions on how to try and get a winning entry:

BEFORE STARTING

1. Decide on what you are going to build. It avoids arguments and wasting time on the day. (but also see point 6)
2. Get plenty of volunteers for digging duty. This can be achieved using grovelling, the "lets work as a team" speech, the "you're a fantastic digger" speech, or bribes such as booze! Tactics such as threats may not be a good idea as the diggers will be given large spades, and your safety would not be guaranteed!
3. Take enough spades and shovels!

DURING THE COMPETITION

4. Spend the first hour digging! Larger entries are more eye-catching so use plenty of sand!
5. After an hour, it will look like a huge mound of sand, or possibly a pair of tits, and it can then be shaped. (A pair of tits is not recommended as the final entry!)
6. At this point, the pile of sand may have a definite shape that may change the original idea. Why not?
7. Give plenty of verbal abuse to the competing teams, but sabotage is not recommended, as it may result in (a) disqualification, and (b) being hit with a rather large spade!
8. If the final creation does not look like anything recognisable, then you may need to claim it as a work of "Modern Art" and bugger off to the nearest pub!

JUDGING

9. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do durhg judging, as you are not allowed on the beach
10. A word of advice however. As the judge is walking round, don't shout "look at the rear end of it!" as one member did - it may cause offence!
11. The results are announced at the evening party, by which time most people are too pissed to care! (except the seriously competitive types)

Have Fun!!!

Grimsby & Cleethorpes 18 Plus SANDCASTLES 2001

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Grimsby & Cleethorpes 18 Plus Presents - Sandcastles 1997

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